Saturday, March 29, 2008


I have a list.

A long list, of all the projects and things I'd like to accomplish. Sewing. Knitting. Sorting. Purging. Clearing out the old, the unused, unwanted, not needed.

And yet, here I sit. Nauseous. Achy. Woozy. Crabby. Unable to do anything. My sense of balance off, causing me to tip to the side and nearly fall. Craving chocolate and sweets, and having them make me even more sick when I succumb. The taste of tinfoil in my mouth. My sense of smell heightened, triggering yet even more nausea.

No, I'm not pregnant. I have a migraine. A whopper, day 4. Could have been many things--the change in seasons, change in air pressure, Easter being over, dog stress, bills, an upcoming trip to Minneapolis for my sister's reception, the looming 10-year anniversary of my Mom's death. All contribute, but that doesn't change the fact that it's here. Weighing on me.

As usual, I'm nervous about taking my medicines. The ones that don't work but are approved for breastfeeding mothers. The ones that kind of work, sometimes. The ones that do work if I catch it at the right time, but don't always. Unfortunately, there's no magic pill.

I put it off until I can't stand it anymore. Then, it's not enough.

And now I worry again. That she won't take the thawed milk I have for her in the fridge, because it comes from a bottle and not from me. That she'll get crabby and start to scream. That I'll get crabby and start to scream.

I want to feel better. I wish I wasn't complaining. I'm sorry. I just need it to go.


Mama Bear said...

I hear you, sometimes whining just makes one feel better. I refuse to whine to the kids and Hubby, so whining to Blogland must help, right? Feel better soon.

Jo& said...

Thinking of you and wishing we could be there to take care of the little one and thus give you an opportunity to be in a very quiet, dark room on your comfy bed so you could sleep away the pain. Feel better soon. God bless.

PutYourFlareOn said...

Oh, I'm so sorry that you're feeling so crappy. I wish I could come over and baby sit Rowan for you so you could rest. I hope tomorrow is better.

I need to purge the apt. We need to do a purge together. What are you wanting to work on? I need to get my clothes under control. I have too many and I wear like the same 5 things all the time.

You know, Rowan will drink when she gets hungry...she'll figure it out. You have to get yourself better, if Mama is not alright then everything else starts to fall apart.

I'm sending you virtual hugs from Paris. Sounds like you need a care package to cheer you up.

D said...

Don't you just HATE a migraine. I have them from March to October. I've found that taking magnesium daily (not just when I have a headache) cuts down on the ferocity.

Sarita said...

Ahh! I really hope you feel better soon!

I need to so some serious purging too!

Kelly said...

Have you checked out this website:

Dr. Hale is the guru of medication and breastfeeding. Go to the forums and try to look up the meds. you want to take. They may not be as dangerous as you think. Especially in an older baby who is taking solids as well. I was suprised how many medications that I thought would be dangerous are actually okay (we use it a lot in the NICU).
Hope you feel better soon. I never had migraines until my last pregnancy and now I get them every now and then, and man...I can feel your pain. I ended up in the ER with the first one b/c I had no idea what was happening to me!!

Feel better!

La Rêveuse said...

Thanks, Kelly! I checked it, and it looks like the Vicodin is OK. My good friend is a pediatrician and said it was, (plus I took it while pregnant after my surgery), but I still don't love doing it. Of course, she's nearly 10 months old and only eats 4 times a day, but I still get nervous. Doesn't matter that much because it isn't helping anyway. AGH! Day 5. Sucks.

I think I'm going to have to go in to my doctor tomorrow. I can't let this one keep going. I had one that lasted 3 months several years ago, so I know that these can keep on going indefinitely.

Kelly said...

Your welcome. Yes...for sure Vicoden is okay!!! We give stronger narcotics to moms right after delivery and they breastfeed their newborns with no problems.

I have used Imitrex for my migraines and it works well. You may even need an injection of it to kick this in the butt. I've also heard that benedryl with your pain reliever can help.
I have taken the Imitrex while breastfeeding and my babe was absolutly fine. I do understand your worry though.
You would not believe some of the meds woman are on and are still able to breastfeed with now problem. The thing is, very little passes through the milk, and then that little bit has to be absorbed through the baby's gut, so by the time it gets to their bloodstream it is usually very minimal, if any.
You have to do whatever you need to do to get yourself better, so that you can take care of that beautiful baby girl!!!
(I wish I had your email, I would have just emailed that to it on your blog somewhere??)

La Rêveuse said...

Yep, it's under stuff and junk like that at the bottom right, there's a link. :)

I've tried imitrex repeatedly, both pills and injections, and it just makes me nauseous but doesn't help the headache at all. I've been on many things--Axert, Amerge, Zomig, and Amytriptylin at night every night (not now, but before pregnancy) and each will work for a while and then stop working. I have a few zomig but they haven't helped this one, neither has imitrex or vicodin, so I'm kind of stuck. If it's still on when I wake tomorrow I'm going in to the doc. Too long. I don't know what they can do, but at least I'd get the ball rolling.

Thanks for your help!

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