Friday, January 16, 2009

Dear Pennsylvania,

This is where I'm from.

She ate it.

Cold Weather Behavior:

60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. North Dakotans plant gardens.

50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People are sunbathing in Fargo.

40 above zero: Import cars won't start. North Dakotans drive with the sunroof open.

32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in Devils Lake gets thicker.

20 above zero: New Mexicans don long johns, parkas and wool hats & mittens. North Dakotans throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in North Dakota have one last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero: People in Miami all die. North Dakotans close the windows.

10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. North Dakotans dig their winter coats out of storage.

25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in North Dakota still selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero: Washington, D.C. finally runs out of hot air. People in North Dakota let their dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. North Dakotans get upset because the Mini-Van won't start.

460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in North Dakota can be heard to say, "Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero: Hell freezes over. North Dakota public schools open 2 hours late.


The Bold Soul said...

Well, you know it's all relative. In PA (or NJ, PA's neighbor to the east) while they do bitch about the cold after a fashion, they also laugh their asses off whenever one of the Southern states gets a freak snowstorm. Then you'll see the previously whiny PA/NJ folks bragging about how at least they know how to drive in snow and ice, and those Sutherners? Total idiots for being afraid to drive two blocks to the local Walmart after 5 flakes of snow have fallen!

Anonymous said...

It has been -11C (12 F)here (Burlington Ontario)with a nasty wind, since Tues and we are FREEZING! 0 degrees Celsius (32 F) is our average temp this time of year, so this cold snap is very uncomfortable...don't like it at all. You're right Bold Soul, it's all relative.

Wendy said...

Amen, sister!

Anonymous said...

boy that post is a favorite around here....have had so many people email it to thing about ND you only have to wait a few days and the weather will surely change.....a day ago it was sunny, 30 and beautiful. Today....1' above and winds of 35-40 mph and windchills of -37 to -42 below.....I keep wondering what in the heck I'm doing here....brrrrrrrrrrr it is horrible. You get an ice cream headache when you go out in it today....B

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