Monday, May 21, 2007

Worry

Last week, I was pretty worried. I worried about labor--whether it would go OK, that I wouldn't be able to handle it, that I wasn't ready.

Last week, I worried about Dr. B's job prospect. That he wouldn't get a call. That he would get a call, and it would be a "no". That they would never call and he'd be worried for months.

Last week, I cried. I yelled. I was depressed. I was overjoyed.

Last week, I had zits like you wouldn't believe. I think it was a hormone surge.

Today, I am feeling pretty good. I still have heartburn, an aching back, occasional contractions, and difficulty sleeping, but I'm pretty used to that by now. I've let go of my labor worries. It will happen as it does, and we'll deal with it.

I've let go of the job worries. We know he's in the top 2. We know they want both candidates. We know they might not get funding for both, and if they don't, he might be the one who doesn't get it. But we'll deal with it, which ever it is. Something will turn out, it always does.

Things will work out for us. We know this. We've been through the worst, losing my mom, and we've survived. We've put ourselves out there, moving to France, and we've thrived. We've made it through very tough stuff, and we've only gotten stronger and our love for each other has only grown deeper.

And soon, we'll have a new little life to add to our family. We're excited to welcome her, to get to know her, to find out who she is and what she's like.

The only nightmares I've had lately is finding out that this her is a him, and I have only girl clothes in the drawers. (I had a dream last night that the baby was a boy. A boy with a penis so big it went down to his ankles. Dr. B didn't believe I was telling the truth, so when he picked up his son, little Zizou peed all over his face.)

But even if that does happen, we'll be fine. We'll survive. We'll thrive. (After all, pee washes off.)

5 comments:

ROCK said...

That was hilarious. Esp since I don't think he'd have a big penis if they thought it was a girl! Even if it is a boy, I'm sure everyone will bring on the boy clothes. I'm sure you've already got unisex tshirts and jeans, too. :) There's LOTS of little boys between the two families.
Whether it's zizou or zizoel, I can't wait! And I wonder if you won't find out about Jeff's job on the day you go into Labor..that seems to be how the world works!
Love,
Rock

La Rêveuse said...

Nowadays, there is practically no such thing as unisex t's and jeans for babies. Everything has ruffles, flowers embroidered on it, basketballs and footballs, or a distinct "boy" look. It's very frustrating!

PutYourFlareOn said...

I find that stripes work for both sexes and in any color. Petit Bateau makes cute stipey outfits but the price is insanely expensive, so we just admire from afar. Anyway, they grow so fast I don't want ot buy anything expensive because Max will only wear maybe once or twice. And if he had it his way, he'd be naked all the time. That's when he is the happiest.

You're going to be an awesome mom. The worry thing is totally normal the roller coaster is about to begin. You're on the big hill now, it's climbing and climbing to the top... get ready to put your arms up in the air because it's going to be the best ride of your life!

You know what? Spit up is the new mommy accessory. I have it on everything now. And I DON'T CARE! Hehe. AS for baby pee, no worries... just watch the French's mustard poop, it stained one of my white tank tops last week. Ew!

Anonymous said...

Kristen's Josh and Jenn's Mikey picked me as the first one to "tinkle" on. What a shocker ! After having two girls I was not prepared with how to deal with boys during diaper duty.....I'm a pro now though....B

afoos said...

You will be a GREAT mom! And, labor and delivery will be just great- just get the epidural! I was worried too, and I ended up having very smooth labors, so I hope yours is the same. Since you are already dilated, chances are things might go fast, which is good. I was dilated 3 cm already with both Gab and Louise and both of them came in a matter of hours. Makes things so much smoother.

I agree with the unisex clothing thing. I said I would use Gab's clothes for Louise and really only ended up with a handful that I used again because they all looked too boyish. Stripes are great, however, and there were a couple of navy striped things that I paired with pink and they looked cute on Louise.

Good luck with everything- we are thinking of you!

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