What you need to sleep in an igloo

Book Igloo: one of 2 tents she got for her birthday., originally uploaded by MrsBinParis.

I set up her igloo tent in her room, a cozy spot to read a book and play with her puppets. Of course, she insisted she must sleep in it. Comfort? Who needs comfort? (Besides her mom--but I am admittedly pretty old and decrepit.)

At my own bedtime, I go to check up on her and find her snuggled up with her pillow and security blanket, her dolls Harley and Mimi tucked in next to her (with their own blanket), and of course the necessities. A cell phone, brown flats with pink velvet bows and a pair of pink, fur-lined snow boots.

The next morning, I asked her what the boots and phone were for. "In case someone needed rescuing, Mom!" Of course. She plans ahead pretty well for a 3 year old.

"And, my igloo didn't melt, either."

Phew!

Grandpa Ron meets Anya

Grandpa Ron meets Anya, originally uploaded by MrsBinParis.

My dad and Pam came to visit us last weekend. They stayed for 5 days and we had a ball. Hanging out at the pool, Spikes game, bowling, and lots of eating--we were tired when they left. But it was a really fun visit.

In this economy, having a job is a very good thing, and having a good job you like in a great town full of wonderful friends is a fantastic thing. But even so, I wish we were closer to home.

Maybe we could just erase Ohio, Illinois and Indiana? Or perhaps one of those Chunnel things under the Great Lakes? (OK, maybe not. Just the thought of that kind of terrifies me.)

Now we're saving our pennies again. We'll need a lot of them. Plans are in the works for a trip back to North Dakota for Christmas. (Yes, we know what the weather's like there that time of year. We can handle it.)

What Will I Be?

During the nightly tuck-in:

"Mommy, why you are tucking me in?"

"Because I love tucking you in."

"When I'm a big girl, what will I do?"

"I'll tuck you in, as long as you want. And when you don't want me to tuck you in, I won't, but after you fall asleep I'll sneak in and give you a kiss anyway."

"Mommy, when I'm a big girl, what will I be?"

"What do you want to be?"

"Five?"

"OK, you can be five."

Sun, here are your orders.

On the way home from Wegman's, Wednesday, 4:30 PM.

Her window cling sun shade proves too tempting and she begins peeling it off. Of course, then she can't get it back on. "Mommy! Mommy! I need help! My shade is falling!"

"I can't help you now. I'm driving. You'll have to wait until we get home."

The sun shines in the window and hits her face. Arms raised, she gives it the what-for.

"ENOUGH with the shining!"

(I burst out laughing. Then she did, too.)

"Mom!!! She SMILED at me!!!"

They'll have so much fun together., originally uploaded by MrsBinParis.

She still checks on her first thing in the morning, before saying hello to us. As I sit checking facebook at night, I hear her get out of bed, and watch as the video monitor goes all wonky when she leans over Anya's bassinet for one last look.

"Rowan!!! Get OFF her!!!" I must yell that fifty times a day. Yesterday, she even knocked the bouncy chair backwards by leaning over it. Anya was squalling like a cat in a rain barrel. "I was just giving her some love!!!" I know, I know. "Honey, just love her a bit more gently, OK?"

She loves her sister. And now she's starting to see: her sister loves her, too.

Swinging

Just a swingin'..., originally uploaded by MrsBinParis.

It's been a hot summer. Where the usual weather for our town is pleasant and in the 70's for all but one week of summer, with plenty of rain to make the long mountain a lush, green-carpeted hill to the west, this year we've seen 90's nearly every week, and lots of humidity, though little rain. The grass is brown and patchy, prickling your feet when you run through it, and the new rain boots sit waiting for some action. Trips to the park are frequent, but short. The heat just gets to you, sending you home on the hunt for lemonade and a nap.

Rowan's reaching the point where her naps are getting in the way. Though many of her friends no longer take them, she still will go down for two or three hours in the afternoon. Where a few months ago she could still fall asleep at 8:30 and stay in bed for 12 hours, now she is having more and more trouble falling asleep at night. We're hearing about "Monsters" in her room, and even the elaborate ritual of curtain cracking, night light illuminating, "Jesus Loves Me" music box winding, "Monster Spray" spritzing, and prayer saying isn't cutting it. When her dad was out of town, it got even worse. Tuesday night, she finally succumbed to sleep at 11:45 PM, on a little bed she made for herself directly under the overhead light in the hallway. I woke her gently 15 minutes later, leading her into my room to sleep on her dad's side of our big bed, where no monsters could get her. "Thanks, Mommy," she said, falling asleep again as she bent to pick up her lovey or doudou, a security blanket known as "Cover Blanket". Face down, bum high in the air, she snored into the carpet until I lifted her under her arms and led her into the bedroom.

When he came home, her dad was able to help, laying down with her at 8:30, snuggled between the bears, Groovy Girls, babies, stuffed monster toys ("But they're nice monsters, Mommy!"), a red Chevy Impala and the porcelain music box she likes to sleep with on her pillow, close to her ear. We're glad we've got a double bed in her room, for nights like this.

As I type this, she's gone up for an afternoon snooze, sweaty and sticky with sunscreen. I'll wake her this time, after an hour or so. With a kiss.

What she doesn't like about Jesus

Conversation with Rowan as we walked the dog, Saturday evening.

"So, you're going to go to Bible school next week!"

"What will I do there?"

"Hear stories, do crafts, play games, sing songs..."

"What else?"

"Learn about Jesus! He's a pretty awesome guy, right?"

"Yeah," she says. "But I don't like his hair!"

She is so much cooler than I ever will be

La Petite Girl Destroy, originally uploaded by MrsBinParis.

Who could resist putting a 3-year old in an AC/DC t-shirt? Not me. I am soooooooo Target's demographic.

BTW, the app that did the effect is FXCamera for Droid. We had a ball playing with it.

Bonds

Jeff and Anya, originally uploaded by MrsBinParis.

Our first little girl was so much. She changed us, from a couple into a family of three, from marrieds into marrieds with kids, from people into parents. She was a challenge from day one, and never let us forget who was in control. One hundred percent her own person, she let us know her when she was ready. She was nothing we expected, always a surprise. Never easy.

So many parents say they bonded with their child before they even left the hospital. An instant link, stronger than they ever thought possible.

It didn't work that way for me, the first time. It took longer than I thought it should have, months rather than minutes. I felt terribly guilty for that. But though it was a slower process, the bond is strong, deep, lasting. Enmeshed. Now I can't imagine a world without her, a time without her, as if she was always there, before.

And the second time, it's different again.

The instant bond, it happened. The moment she was in my arms, she was mine and I knew her. The glow was instantaneous. I slipped into the old routines, the ones so hard won, broken in and comfortable. The easy baby they all talk about: zen, calm, predictable. A delight, a snuggler, smiling and relaxed.

Perhaps it's partly due to confidence, a knowledge of my own parenting abilities, or simple genetics, but whatever it is, this time it is easier. This time, the feelings of guilt are for the relief I feel, the ease I didn't have with my first baby. But it is what it is. Every moment with Rowan was worth it, and every moment with Anya is, too. They are just different.

As I typed this, Rowan came down the stairs in her favorite pink nightgown, fuzzy and worn. She sat on the floor next to her sister's bouncy chair, hugged her, and serenaded her with "I love you, a bushel and a peck!" She then came to me, and sang it again, hugging me around my "pretty neck", and ending with a big kiss.

I am so very blessed.

Dimple!

Anya, 8 weeks: Dimple!, originally uploaded by MrsBinParis.

She's changing so quickly. Gaining weight, outgrowing her newborn clothes, and even some 0-3 month ones, holding her head up and making her voice heard. She's bigger than her sister and has a very different personality, though she looks so much like her. Anya loves Devo, long walks outside, warm baths, and snuggling. She hates her car seat with a passion, and for some reason, cucumbers make her poo green. She still nurses like a champ, and is a great sleeper, though not quite as much during the day as she used to (but still sleeps well at night, so I am not complaining!) Her right cheek has a little dimple that up until now has only been visible while she's nursing. I was thrilled to pull up this photo in iPhoto and find it there for all to see.

With the second one, there are never as many photos. Too busy taking care of two little miracles--picture time gets taken over by juice-fetching, bottom wiping, and tea party having. Hopefully, I can sneak in a few here and there, though. These are moments I do not want to forget.

I finally admit it. I am no longer a size 8.

And I probably never will be. And that's OK.

Over the past few weeks, in stolen moments, I have been going through my closet and purging things that are worn out, out of style, too short, too tight, or too uncomfortable.  Many items came from my teaching days before we moved to France, so they were pretty ancient, and unlikely to be worn again. The entire trunk of our car is full of bags of clothes and shoes on the way to Goodwill. And honestly, I'm sure there is more that should be in there, but I just got to the point where I needed the process to be done.

And when it was, I still had little to wear. The closet is full of clothes, but there were very few pants or skirts that I could fit into and I liked. But I'm trying to be a grown up. It's time to accept it. I've had 2 children, and I have never had abs of steel, even before my babies grew under them. My clothes just don't fit the same, and may never again. And that's OK. Our daughters are worth that price.

I bought two new pairs of pants the other day. I don't like the numbers on the tag, but I like the way they fit. I like being able to breathe. I like the confidence I have when I know I look good again. And I'm worth it, too.

Hero

Kai Lan and Rowan, originally uploaded by MrsBinParis.

I may not be a big fan of amusement parks, weird characters in giant suits, and souvenir shops, but the joy and wonder on her face when she saw Kai Lan was worth the admission price. So glad that Nickelodeon now sponsors the park at the Mall of America.

Guess we will be going to Disneyland at some point after all.

Catch Up

Birthday Girl, originally uploaded by MrsBinParis.

You're probably wondering where I've been. Sorry about that.

It's been a busy 5 weeks chez nous. Anya is a dream--she sleeps well at night, takes long naps during the day, and her fussy period is really nothing compared to the colic we dealt with when Rowan was little. Rowan is loving being a big sister, and is a great help to me. She is growing up so fast, and seems to have turned from a baby to a girl overnight. Though she hasn't gained a pound, she seems heavier, denser, and bonier all at the same time and her vocabulary and imagination have grown in leaps and bounds. While serving dinner at her restaurant (sandbox), she'll ask us what we'd like to eat. "Well, actually," she'll say, "we don't have cappucino but we do have lemonade. Would you like some pancakes or do you want a hot dog?"

I am trying to juggle both of them as well as keeping up with life as we know it. I'm not always succeeding, but with 2 kids, I think the fact that I'm not completely blowing it is success in its own right. The house may not be quite as clean as I'd like it, but the chances are that won't happen ever in my lifetime anyway, so I'd rather spend the time gluing sequins on foam butterflies with Rowan, and holding my little Anya in my arms. We've been very blessed with friends who've dropped off meals for us, making our first weeks with our two girls so much easier.

Dr. B's folks visited us for a week at the beginning of June, and during that time we had Anya baptized and threw a birthday party for Rowan. Anya's baptism was a rather last-minute thing, but I managed to order a cake (which was awesome--Wegman's rocks) and we took a few pictures. The last day of their visit was Rowan's third birthday, and we'd planned a party for about 35 adults and kids at a local park. Unfortunately, that was the one day of the week that wasn't 75 and sunny. Yep. Pouring rain and 60 all day. We had reserved the shelter, though, so we persevered. The kids played in the rain and the mud and generally had a blast, the adults ate burgers and talked, the kids played games and everyone had cake. It was so much fun, and probably wouldn't have been any better in the sunshine, if only for the comic relief of Rowan constantly pulling up her pants as they sagged below her tush, wet and muddy. Again, we took a few more pictures. After Dr. B's folks left for the long drive back to North Dakota, I let Rowan open her presents from her other grandparents, knowing she'd be sad and craving the attention she got from them. Brilliant plan, or so I thought. You'll never guess what they got her. *head desk*

So this week we've been catching up. Trying to get more organized and keep up with housework and laundry, running errands, going to the library, a trip to the pool. We've restarted our afternoon walks (not possible during the last month of pregnancy), and my clothes are starting to fit a little better (though still not great, but honestly I needed some new summer things anyway). We're finding our new routine, different with two kids than one.

And tomorrow we throw a wrench in the works again, but a good one. We'll be flying off to Minneapolis--our first big family trip! We're going for the weekend to meet Dr. B's brother's family and his parents. We haven't seen the Montana Brownsons in 2 years, so we are excited to spend some time with them, and hopefully will see my sis and another friend briefly as well. It'll be a very short trip, but jam-packed. We plan to go to Valleyfair and Rowan is looking forward to tea at American Girl place in the MOA with her cousins. Then we'll be home again, and anticipating visits from my dad and his wife, and from my sister and her husband later this summer.

And I hope that when we get back I'll have more time to post here, and more than just "this is what we did" posts. I make no promises, though. There are a lot of sequins that need gluing.

3 years, 1 day

Cloud gazing, originally uploaded by MrsBinParis.

Paint Joy: Rowan, during Anya's audio test

Paint Joy: Rowan, during Anya's audio test, originally uploaded by MrsBinParis.

Smart phones + kids' apps + toddlers= Good thing.

What are your favorite kids' apps?

Nos deux filles

Nos deux filles, originally uploaded by MrsBinParis.

Who knew lightening could strike twice?

Two beautiful girls. We are so blessed.

First thing in the morning

First thing in the morning, originally uploaded by MrsBinParis.

People warned me. Jealousy, they said. She's not the star of the show anymore. She'll regress. She'll struggle.

Thankfully, they haven't been proven right (yet). Rowan is so in love with her sister, she often forgets everyone else. First thing in the morning, she wants to greet her, kiss her, hug her, and hold her. Twice she has requested that her dad take her bed and she sleeps in with me and her sister in the pack and play bassinet at the side of the bed. Her eyes open, and she turns to greet "her baby" before even saying a word to me. When Anya cries (which is blissfully rare), Rowan tries everything her little almost-3-year-old mind can think of to soothe her and then runs to me in desperation, "I don't know how to get her to stop, Mama! She's crying!!!"

And I've finally found a way to get her to pose for pictures willingly, and with truly genuine smiles. Well, some of the time anyway. (More to come from the real camera soon.)

Anya Genevieve

Anya Genevieve, originally uploaded by MrsBinParis.

Birthday May 13, 2010, 2:08 AM.

7 lbs. 14 oz., 20.5 inches long.

A beautiful gift from God.

Perfect, beautiful, calm and sweet. Her big sister adores her! Her dad is already suffering from the sleep deprivation. (Wimp. Ha.) He's going to get her sis and dog today, and take them home for one night while I stay in the hospital with the baby. Before she was born, he was incensed by the idea that they might kick him out of our room at night. (Officially, dads are supposed to leave at 9, but it's not enforced.) Today, his tune has changed and he wants to sleep in his own bed.

She and I will come home tomorrow. Until then, I'm taking advantage of having a full staff, personal chef, and free Wifi. And complete control of the thermostat. (Plastic beds are hot.)

Welcome to the world, Baby Girl. We are so thrilled you've joined us. Thank God that you are healthy and perfect--we are so very blessed.

"Mom, I'm sorry you're so mad."

Everyone says I'm close to delivering. I hope so. I have been desperately trying to get things finished. Of course, not everything is, but it's probably good enough. My husband is irritated with me because I'm irritated with him (because he's not doing the things I NEED him to do, obviously.) My daughter has been loud and talkative and energetic and kind of driving me nuts, but she has also figured it out, so spends a lot of time apologizing for making me mad. I'm really trying not to be mad and to enjoy my last days of having only one kid, but it's hard. I am trying to hug her a lot and tell her I'm sorry I'm cranky. We sing songs. Tonight, she told me, "I love you, a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck and a barrel and a PEEP."

Confession: I think I have PTSD for colic. Is that possible? (Please God. This one? No colic, OK?) My hunch is there won't be colic. But I've been wrong before. And I'm scared of the colic. It was so bad, really. Colic sucks.

Another confession: I spent about an hour alone in bed Saturday night crying because I miss my mom. It's been twelve years now. I wish she was here. I know she's watching, and she's proud of me, but I wish I could talk to her. She totally would have helped with the slipcover. And my freezer would be full of homemade food, not Wegman's premade (which is good, but still.)

It was Mother's Day on Sunday. Rowan kept saying, "Happy Murz Day!" We went out to brunch, and our server forgot to put in our food order and she cried. We got our brunch for free. It was really good, even though we didn't eat until 3. I ordered dessert. For supper, I had more ice cream.

Today I burned through the house putting crap away and being mad at everyone who left their crap out and cleaning and finishing slip-covering the chair and changing my pants three times because they were all falling down. Apparently, my hips are spreading even more. Even my undies are too tight. This sucks. I had to do laundry because I only have a couple of things that are comfortable to wear right now.

I got the bathroom upstairs reloaded after Dr. B painted it yesterday, and cleaned it, and got all the painting stuff put away again. If I'm not in labor, tomorrow I'll clean the downstairs one. Vacuuming is done, chest and bassinet are moved, Rowan's room is fairly clean, clothes are put away, one more load of laundry is done (not folded, though). Dishes are done, kitchen is fairly neat, chair is finished, sewing crap is put away. Extra junk is up in the attic. Patio is swept (50 mph winds left piles of leaves and sticks everywhere. It really was necessary, I swear.)

Blogging, check. Boring, rambling, yes. Sorry about that. This is how my brain works right now.

Tonight, Dr. B ordered me to call his mom. I did. I complained about some of the stuff he's been telling me lately and she laughed at him and made me feel better. I love having her for an ally.

Here's an example, 20 hours after his last final exam was graded and grades were turned in, he complained of "that anxious feeling when I don't have a project!" So I bought paint and told him to paint the bathroom, which I've been asking for going on 3 years now. His response? "I don't like doing other people's projects!"

Huh.  I don't much like being pregnant. You do it.

Or your laundry. Or cleaning your toilets. Or picking up your shoes every stinking day.

His mom laughed and laughed. And swore she taught him better, but she was pretty sure it's a B man thing, because his dad does the same thing.

So during our phone conversation (probably when he realized she was totally backing me up), he took the dog for a really long walk. I got the house half vacuumed before he got home. Then he went upstairs and put the stuff in the attic that I had asked him to do 2 weeks ago. He noticed I'd moved the heavy cedar chest, and he said, "Bootsie's coming soon. You've got a lot more strength tonight than you have had in a long time."

Not necessarily. I think I just have a lot less patience.

We'll see... the next time you hear from me, it might just be good news. Here's hoping.

Nestorama!!! Now! With Upholstering!!!

Two weeks to go. I must be nesting. I'm getting stuff done right and left, but still feel like I'm spinning my wheels. My list is shorter, but the things that are taken care of are kind of minor. (That's OK. I like crossing them off, so I'll take it.) I have new contacts (that aren't dry! It's wonderful!) I have a dentist appointment next week, with Rowan (her first.) She did great at the eye doc, though she wasn't examined, but it kind of gave her a taste of what will happen. Hopefully it will all go well at the dentist.

I called the doc about her, um, blockage issues and got her started on Miralax. Glad she can't read or she'd be mortified that I am telling the internet even more about her poop. Things are much easier now, though the potty training is completely gone. Oh well. I give up. Now is apparently not the time, and she is not ready to be done. So fine. She's not. Sigh.

I have packed her bag and started mine (though there are so few things that fit me right now, I think I'll have to wait with a list on top until the moment labor starts to finish.) Laundry is fairly caught up. Little cleaning projects have been happening. Yard sale stuff is gone to the church.  Baby stuff is down from the attic, the infant car seat is waiting in the hall, and we are just waiting on the pick up of our new dresser to finish putting all Rowan's and Bootsie's stuff in the right places. Just in case, I culled it down to a few weeks worth and gave them each 3 drawers of Rowan's dresser for now, and left the big plastic boxes stacked in her room. Dr. B hung the colorful lanterns high over the crib (Rowan destroyed her mobile), and the crib skirt is ironed and in place. (My mother would be proud. I never iron anything anymore.) Sheets are waiting--I don't want them to get dusty. Batteries have been bought, though need to be inserted in all the various battery-needing things. I have confirmed Rowan's and Lucy's caretakers, and Rowan got a new sleeping bag for her first big sleepover. She's very excited.

Dr. B's HoneyDo list is still there, but all I can do is bug him about it. Since school is wrapping up, hopefully he'll get on the stick ASAP. He promised to shampoo the carpets this weekend, pick up the dresser (I may put it together, I haven't asked him yet.) He also promised to shave the dog, which I hate doing, but I did buy a new trimmer kit, so hoping it works. If he doesn't do it soon, I'll take her in to the vet and have it done. I still want him to paint our bathroom, but would be surprised if it got done in time. He still has finals and grades to deal with. I begged off the boring banquet last night--don't know if this was the best idea as Rowan's lack of a nap also seemed to have affected her lack of being nice. Long night. But whatever, I didn't have to get dressed up, eat banquet food and clap for 274 individual student awards. (Not exaggerating. Worst Banquet Ever.)

I am in the midst of upholstering a chair (at the moment actually--I'm taking an ice cream sandwich/blogging break), and when that's done  I will start the marathon shopping, cooking and freezing session. I need to sew tabs on my BumGenius diapers, but have enough econobums and g diapers that it can wait if need be. We have plenty of baby clothes, blankets, hats, and diapers, including disposable backups as well as cloth. I have a few things to order of the internet, but nothing that we won't survive without (most is not baby-related anyway.)

So we're kind of ready. But not really.

Anybody want to come over to dust and do windows???

*crickets*