Endorsed

Yes, this is part of an ad. But it's a true story, and I doubt you'll make it through it dry eyed. I sure didn't.

I have one for Rowan, and have never questioned the price I paid because I know this to be the safest option for my little girl. I, too, did the research, and I am glad I stuck to my gut on this one. She is worth it.

Please watch.

I am terrified of the toilet.

It's time. She's mobile. Upwardly, downwardly, backwardly and forwardly. Kind of wonkily, actually. Hello Adverbs! I love you today!

She's sort of crawling, with one knee and one foot, and making quick progress into whatever she shouldn't be into. She pulls herself up on the furniture, and cruises along, as quick as a wink. She's even tried pulling herself up on Lucy, who doesn't like it very much.

I have learned:

• toys aren't fun unless they can inflict serious bodily harm. Or kill you.
  
• electrical cords are delicious, like spaghetti! Especially the sparky ones.
• little bits of unidentified crud are meant to be eaten. A dog who gets 3-5 walks a day brings in a lot of unidentified crud. (Mom now vacuums daily.)
  
• the bottoms of shoes are tasty and should be licked frequently! Especially outside ones.
  
• Buttons are meant to be pushed, dials are meant to be turned, and all music should be played at level 11.
• Doggie water dishes are baby pools. With added spit!
• Things in drawers or baskets should be out of them and thrown on the floor. Ditto for stuff on shelves.
  
• If you think she won't get into it, she'll get into it faster. Especially when you aren't looking or have your pants around your ankles or have a pot boiling over.
• Dogs don't like to be pulled up on by a 20 pound baby. They don't like vacuums either.

So, we've begun to babyproof. Candles are mostly gone, save the 'necessary' bathroom one for the stinky moments. Sit-around-cute-decor-crap is put away. Baskets of magazines have been recycled and closeted. Plugs are plugged, cords are tucked behind the couches, and stuff is pushed back to an unreachable area on each end table. Plexiglass has been ordered to cover the stereo/cable TV/ computer equipment and cords, and any tippy furniture has been screwed to the wall. She is a climber--she already started with her dresser drawers. At 10 months! And people wonder why we call her the evil monkey.

And the next paycheck plans include a mounted gate for the top of the stairs, toilet locks, drawer locks, cabinet locks and any other assorted baby safety crap that becomes an absolute necessity when I'm standing in the store.

They'll be able to smell a sucker like me a mile away.

Warning: Found You

I recently got an email, a forward that I didn't mind. It was very frightening, actually.

Seems that if you type your home phone number into the address bar of your browser, Google (or something) will bring up your name, home address and a map to your house. This can also be done with Switchboard.com's search by phone. I tried it on someone I know, and it worked.

I guess if you click on further (both versions), you can remove your listing. I would highly suggest you do this. How many times have you had to give out your home phone number? What about your kids? (Likely, they have it memorized, and won't be too hard pressed to give it when asked.) Scary.

Another reason Dr. B and I are glad we are land-line-less. I tried my cell phone number. Came up unknown. For the only time in my life, I am glad to be unknown!

(And then I go posting pictures of myself on the internet, but whatever.)