Monday, November 30, 2009

Letter of Apology to Martha Stewart and My Father-in-Law

Dear Martha and Dick,

I am sorry. I just can't do it anymore.

We did, every year, after Dr. B expressed how important it was to him, too.

We went to the tree farm or tree lot, hunted for the perfect one (read: small enough and cheap enough and not ugly), and brought it home. We fought over when to bring it in, when it was straight, and when to decorate it.

I strung lights, covered it in ribbons, beads and ornaments, took photos.

I watered faithfully, with a combination of water and 7up. I vacuumed up the extra needles. I peeled sap out of my hair. Some presents got wet and damaged, no matter how hard I tried to not be klutzy when watering (impossible). I put gloves on every time I had to put a fallen ornament back on, because I am allergic to the damn things and it's only getting worse. I took Benadryl to soothe my red, hot, itchy hands.

Then, 2 years ago (Rowan's first Christmas), we left town for a few days. We turned the heat down, made sure it was well watered, unplugged and nowhere near a heat source so it wouldn't burn our house down.

We came home to a house full of mildew.

I'm sorry. That was the last straw for both of us. Or should I say, the last needle?

"But I thought it was important to you, too?"

"It used to be. But you're really allergic. And that mildew... Ew! I'm trying to be a better Buddhist when it comes to Christmas trees and just let it go."

We've gone over the edge: Plastic Pre-lit. Please forgive us.


La Rêveuse and Dr. B.


The Bold Soul said...

Comfort yourself with the knowledge that you're now saving a live tree every year.

Mama Bear said...

Yeah, the allergic thing did me in, too. The sneezing... and stuffiness, couldn't stand it. But wait... I'm allergic to the dang plastic thing, too, but only when I have to "fluff" the pre-lit branches, or put on the beads, or the ornaments. Once I no longer have to touch the thing it's good.

PutYourFlareOn said...

Oh, you're forgiven! Last thing you need to deal with this year is mildew and allergies! :)

Fluffing the branches... we did that for years in our family. Gotta make it a family thing or else it gets old. We'd watch movies and eat popcorn while doing it. :)

raine said...

How fun to unexpectantly come across your blog!!

We make the trip to the basement for the bringing up of the tree box a traditional event...

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